Saturday, October 31, 2009

How to Be a DAD

Sheena was out walking with her 4 year old daughter.

She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. Sheena took the item away from her and asked her not to do that.

'Why?' the daughter asked. 'Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs' she replied.

At this point, the daughter looked at her with total admiration and asked, 'Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.'

Sheena was thinking quickly. 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom.' They walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but the daughter was evidently pondering this new information. '

OH...I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad. '

'Exactly' Sheena replied back with a big smile on my face.

Supernatural Powers

There was this case in this hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed on Friday mornings around 9am regardless of their age, gender, medical history or medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural: Why did death occur at that same bed around the same time every Friday?

So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause of the deaths.

Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. The new (unknowing) patient laid there.

Some doctors held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil...and they waited.

8am, the patient was still alive...

8.30am...still breathing...

Just before the 'cursed' time, the door to the ward swung open...

Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, comes in and unplugs the life support system so that she can use the vacuum cleaner!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Khuda Khus

Bhagwaan (god) sabse zyada kab khush hote hain?...

When a girl is getting raped & she screams."MUJHE BHAGWAAN KE LIYE CHODE DO PLEASE!!!!
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
What do ! u usually say after sex?
--I luv u!.......... .Wrong!--That was great!...... ....wrong again!
--I luv it!........wrong again!--the answer is :"mera kacha kithe hai?"
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
Arz hai....
College se nikalte hi kitaabain seenay se laga leti ho
Hum kya marr gaye jo khud hi daba leti ho !!!!
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
A bra falls on a doodhwala entering a building.
He looks up n shouts"ohbhenji! aapke doodh ka dhakkan gir gaya !"
............ ......... ......... ......... .........

NON - VEG JOKES

Wife undressd in bathrum & walked toward bed for sex and hit sum object.

Hsbnd rushed to her & askd: Oh honey! My darling! Chot to nahi lagi na!

After sex was over she hit the same thing again on way back to bathroom.

Hsbnd: Andhi hai kya? Dekh kar nahi chal sakti ??

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...

A girl asked a Guru 2 explain what is DevilHell &Heaven?

Guru replied: Btwn my 2 legs is Devilbtwn ur 2 legs is Hellput Devil in Hell & u'll feel heaven.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...

On honeymoon Nightthe groom lights up a match stick near wife's private.

Wife: Why did u do this?Groom: Dosto ne kaha ki pehle achchhi tarah Garam karna.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Lady 2 Doctor: sir Sex ke liye konsa samay Uchit hai..?Doctor: Dopahar 2 se 4...

Lady: woh kyon...?

Doctor: compounder nahi hota iss liye...