Friday, December 25, 2009

VODKA - Some Facts

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The stuff dissolves adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mould and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on wine stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle with vodka and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9 Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water into a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshing ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.

11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

12. To cure foot odour, wash your feet with vodka.

13 Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.

15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

What Men Really Mean

It's a guy thing."
Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means...."Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means....Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means..."I have no idea how it works.

"We're going to be late."
Really means...."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means...."Are you still talking?"

"It's a really good movie."
Really means...."It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."

"That's women's work."
Really means...."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"You know how bad my memory is."
"Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means.... "...And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Really means.... "It didn't fall right into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"

"I heard you."
Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific."
Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Born Again - Prelude

Many people ask me a question why do you want to write a Novel......... The simple answer is I always wanted to do things which I like the most and writing is just one of them. Today when I have completed penning the whole novel I am pretty much satisfied with the way things have shaped up.

Let's have a brief look at what "Born Again" is all about.

Plot:

Born Again is a story of a corporate genius - Anubhav Bindra who takes his company from zero to $ 1 Billion in 5 years. He is a fast thinker, quicker action-taker, result oriented and very very brilliant individual. He feels his personal life has a void and due to this he begins to loose his focus. He decides to go on a holiday where he hits upon a brilliant idea for a new product that could change the dynamics of Automobile and Software market. Could this be another shot to glory for Anubhav and his company or could this spell peril...... only time will tell......

Saturday, October 31, 2009

How to Be a DAD

Sheena was out walking with her 4 year old daughter.

She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. Sheena took the item away from her and asked her not to do that.

'Why?' the daughter asked. 'Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs' she replied.

At this point, the daughter looked at her with total admiration and asked, 'Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.'

Sheena was thinking quickly. 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom.' They walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but the daughter was evidently pondering this new information. '

OH...I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad. '

'Exactly' Sheena replied back with a big smile on my face.

Supernatural Powers

There was this case in this hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed on Friday mornings around 9am regardless of their age, gender, medical history or medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural: Why did death occur at that same bed around the same time every Friday?

So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause of the deaths.

Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. The new (unknowing) patient laid there.

Some doctors held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil...and they waited.

8am, the patient was still alive...

8.30am...still breathing...

Just before the 'cursed' time, the door to the ward swung open...

Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, comes in and unplugs the life support system so that she can use the vacuum cleaner!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Khuda Khus

Bhagwaan (god) sabse zyada kab khush hote hain?...

When a girl is getting raped & she screams."MUJHE BHAGWAAN KE LIYE CHODE DO PLEASE!!!!
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
What do ! u usually say after sex?
--I luv u!.......... .Wrong!--That was great!...... ....wrong again!
--I luv it!........wrong again!--the answer is :"mera kacha kithe hai?"
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
Arz hai....
College se nikalte hi kitaabain seenay se laga leti ho
Hum kya marr gaye jo khud hi daba leti ho !!!!
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
A bra falls on a doodhwala entering a building.
He looks up n shouts"ohbhenji! aapke doodh ka dhakkan gir gaya !"
............ ......... ......... ......... .........

NON - VEG JOKES

Wife undressd in bathrum & walked toward bed for sex and hit sum object.

Hsbnd rushed to her & askd: Oh honey! My darling! Chot to nahi lagi na!

After sex was over she hit the same thing again on way back to bathroom.

Hsbnd: Andhi hai kya? Dekh kar nahi chal sakti ??

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...

A girl asked a Guru 2 explain what is DevilHell &Heaven?

Guru replied: Btwn my 2 legs is Devilbtwn ur 2 legs is Hellput Devil in Hell & u'll feel heaven.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...

On honeymoon Nightthe groom lights up a match stick near wife's private.

Wife: Why did u do this?Groom: Dosto ne kaha ki pehle achchhi tarah Garam karna.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Lady 2 Doctor: sir Sex ke liye konsa samay Uchit hai..?Doctor: Dopahar 2 se 4...

Lady: woh kyon...?

Doctor: compounder nahi hota iss liye...

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Joke

It was the end of the school day and all of the kids were anxious to go home.
The teacher told the kids,"As soon as you can name the speaker of a famous quote you may leave. O.K.,

Who said four score and seven years ago?"

Johnny lifts his hand in excitement.

"Yes, Johnny?"But before he could answer, Lucy jumped in and said Abraham Lincoln.

"Very good, Lucy, you may go home now." Johnny was red in the face with anger.

The teacher then gave the next quote,"Who said I have a dream.."Johnny lifted his hand excitedly again.

But this time Mary interjected and said "Martin Luther King.""Very good, Mary, you may go home now."

At this point Johnny was really frustrated and pissed off. But the teacher asked again, "Who said ask not what your country can do for you?"

Johnny knew this one, he raised his hand quickly.

This time Rebecca chimed in and said, "JFK""Very good, Rebecca, you may go home now."

Now, Johnny was BOILING MAD! He turns to the kid next to him and says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

"Who said that?"asked the teacher.

"Bill Clinton," said Johnny, "Can I go home now?"

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Why girls are better than boys

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses.

3. We never ejaculate prematurely.

4. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

5. When we buy a vibrator it's glamorous. When men buy a blow-up doll, it's pathetic.

6. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

7. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

8. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

9. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

10. Taxis stop for us.

11. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

12. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

13. Free drinks, free dinners, free moving (you get the point?).

14. We can hug our friend without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

15. We know the truth about whether size matters.

16. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

17. If we have sex with someone and don't call the next day, we're not the devil.

18. Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.

19. We can sleep our way to the top.

20. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.

21. It is possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

22. No fashion faux pas we make could rival Speedos.

23. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy.

24. If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it's because we're being emotionally neglected.

25. We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.

26. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

27. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her arse.

28. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

29. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

30. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

31. We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.

32. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

33. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

34. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

35. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

36. Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.

37. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

38. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

Alcohol Warning

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers haveaccepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placedimmediately on all beer containers:

1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what thehell happened to your bra.

2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whisperingwhen you are not.

3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like aretard.

4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friendsover and over again that you love them.

5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe thatex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logicallyconverse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mysticalKung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in themorning and see something really scary.

10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicablerug burns on the forehead.

11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you aretougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you areinvisible.

13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people arelaughing WITH you.

14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in thetime-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Marketing Concepts.......

Professor at IIM was explaining marketing concepts:

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing.

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,"He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising.

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing.

4. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. Y ou get up and straighten your tie, You walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"
- That's Public Relations.

5. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich" - That's BrandRecognition.

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback!!!!!

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" Andshe introduces you to her husband - That's demand and supply gap.

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say, I am very rich. Marry me!" she turns her face towards you ----------- she is your wife! -
- That's competition eating into your market share.

English is a Funny Language

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?

Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?

In what other language do thay call the third hand on the clock the second hand?

Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?

Why - in our crazy language - can your nose run and your feet smell?

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:

If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?

A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.

But fingers don't fing and grocers don't groce.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?

If the teacher taught, why isn't it also true that the preacher praught?

If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?

English is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn a light off and you can turn a light out, but you can't turn a light in;

In which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.

In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car can slow up and slow down, in which you can fill in a form by filling out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible?; and why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

40 Funny Quotes and Thoughts

" Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper."

"If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark."

"Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf."

"An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing."

"Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do?Turn out the lights! "

"I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier."

"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things."

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

"Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference."

"The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. "

Terrrific quotes ( One liners)

Love is photogenic it needs darkness to develop.

A good discussion is like a miniskirt, Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject!

Children in backseats cause accidents, Accidents in backseats cause children!

"Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep!

There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning!

"ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY", So what? Who's in a hurry?

"Hard work never killed anybody", But why take the risk! (I don't want to be an exception!)

"Work fascinates me", I can sit and watch it for hours!

God made relatives, Thank God we can choose our friends.

My girlfriend ran away with my best friend and I really am sorry for him!

God is Alive! Speak to Him!, (It's cheaper after 9.30 p.m.!)

When two's company, three's the result!

A designer dress is like a barbed fence, It protects the premises without restricting the view!

You Know you are having a bad day when

You Know you are having a bad day when...

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.

Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

You wake up and your braces are stuck together.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband.

You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your MasterCard.

Nothing you own is actually paid for.

The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money when she sees your future.

People think that you're 40 and you're only 25.

The doctor says you are in fine health for someone twice your age.

Murphy's laws on girls.....

1. If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that

2. the nicer she is...the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!

3. The more the makeup, worse the looks...

4. "99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company."............ .....100% true
5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.

6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed..

7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with you.

8. Theory of relativity.. ....The more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...
9. Rule 1: Even if you got her out alone... just when you are about to let her know about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from Kumbh ka Mela)

Corollary to rule 1: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything

9:1Axiom 1: The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys)

10. the day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3.Have a bad hair day

11. all the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around with u and ruin ur money,health and leave u a total wreck.

12. the more seriously u like a girl...the more seriously her dad will hate u

13. the love you shower a girl with is directly proportional to the number of bullets her dad will be showering at you

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Hierarchy Model of Advertising Effects

AbstractThe most often cited hierarchy model was developed by Lavidge and Steiner (1961), and this has been regarded as the process by which advertising works for more a century. But some recent reviews of the empirical literature found little evidence to support the existence of an advertising hierarchy, and this continues to be the subject of debate. Most recently, Weilbacher (2001) and Barry (2002) have debated the hierarchy model of advertising effects in their articles published in “Journal of Advertising Research”. In this paper, the contribution of these articles to marketing theory, as well as practice are compared and assessed. The paper then concludes with implications for integrated marketing communications.
IntroductionAdvertising has existed for many decades but the intellectual theory of advertising such as how it works and why it works are still debatable issues in academia and industry (Barry & Howard 1990). One suggested explanation is the hierarchy of effects, a body of literature that posits that audiences go through a variety of stages (cognitive, affective, and conative) in responding to advertising and other persuasive marketing messages (Gallup 1974; Lavidge & Steiner 1961; Vakratsas & Ambler 1999). The most often cited hierarchy model was posited by Lavidge & Steiner (1961), who believed that advertising was an investment in a long term process that moved consumers over time through a series of stages beginning with product unawareness and ending with an actual purchase.
However, Vakratsas and Ambler (1999) have recently reviewed more than 250 journal articles and books in an effort to better understand how advertising works and affects the consumer. They state that ‘a review of the empirical literature found little evidence to support the existence of an advertising hierarchy’ (p. 26). Their evidence initiated much debate most recently by Weilbacher (2001) and Barry (2002) in their articles published in Journal of Advertising Research, where they discuss the hierarchy model of advertising effects.
In this paper, a comparison and assessment is made of the contribution of articles to marketing theory and practice, based on reviewing the published literature. The paper also examines the implications of this for integrated marketing communications.
The Hierarchy of Effects ModelsThe conceptual model they implicitly apply to advertising is a simple causal hierarchy of effects (Vakratsas & Ambler 1999), little changed in its essentials from the AIDA model, which has been around since 1898 (Strong, cited in Hall 2002).
Hierarchy of advertising effects models have been around in the literature of marketing for more than a century (Yoo, Kim & Stout 2004). The traditional hierarchy framework asserts that consumers respond to advertising messages in a very ordered way. According to Belch & Belch (2004), ‘a number of the hierarchy of effects models have been developed to depict the stages a consumer may pass through in moving from a stage of not being aware of a company, product, or brand to actual purchase behavior’ (p. 147). In two of the best-known response hierarchy models (see appendix, figure 2), while these response models may appear similar, they were developed for different reasons.
The AIDA model was developed to represent the stages a salesperson must take a customer through in the personal selling process (Strong, cited in Belch & Belch 2004). This model depicts the buyer as passing successively through attention, interest, desire, and action. The hierarchy of effects model was developed by Lavidge and Steiner (1961) showing the process by which advertising works. It assumes that ‘a consumer passes through a series of steps in sequential order from initial awareness of a product or service to actual purchase’ (cited in Belch & Belch 2004, p. 148). Consumers change their minds about a product, then they change their attitude, and then they act. In other words, the process begins with cognition, which translates to affect, which then translates to behaviour.
Arguments about the Hierarchy Model of Advertising EffectsIn Weilbacher’s article ‘Point of View: Does Advertising Cause a Hierarchy of Effect’ (2001), the author argues that ‘hierarchy of advertising effects models do not provide an accurate description of how advertising works and the effects of advertising’ (p. 19), and therefore it is unlikely to be used as a framework for measuring the true effects of advertising. In contrast, Barry (2002) in the article titled ‘In Defense of the Hierarchy of Effects: A Rejoinder to Weilbacher’ supports the concept of a hierarchy as a major guideline for advertising practice and research. The author adds that the marketing literature continues to embrace the hierarchy of advertising effects formulation as a basis for measuring the effects of advertising.
To begin with, there has been significant discrepancy regarding the explanation of advertising’s role among advertising researchers. According to Weilbacher, success or failure of advertising has always depended primarily on the ultimate sales when citing that ‘advertising– if it is successful– ultimately results in the sale of the product or service advertised to at least some of the consumers that have been exposed to the advertising. If such sales do not happen, the advertising is judged not to have been effective’ (p. 19). Meanwhile, others have regarded advertising as the communication process that attracts customer’s attention or features the product that will satisfy their needs. For example, it is proposed by Gallup (1974) that ‘advertising performs a vital communications function. It brings to buyer’s attention a product or service that will meet their needs. It tells buyers about the particular features of the product as opposed to other products’ (p. 7). Therefore, these dissimilar goals of advertising have reflected differences in approaching the way in which the effectiveness of advertising measured.
In terms of the hierarchy of advertising effects model, its basic premise is that advertising effects occur over a period of time (Lavidge & Steiner 1961) and ‘advertising communication may not lead to immediate behavioral response or purchase; rather, a series of effects must occur, with each step fulfilled before the consumer can move to the next stage in the hierarchy’ (Belch & Belch 2004, p. 148). Despite the fact that the hierarchy of advertising effects model of how advertising works has been around in the literature of marketing for a long time, Weilbacher (2001) claims it as an intuitive, non-validated explanation of how advertising works.
Weilbacher (2001) argues that there is an inconsistency in the hierarchy models of advertising effects in terms of multiple advertisements’ effects and competitive hierarchical interactions. Primarily, the hierarchy of effects is fragile, rewarding the relation of any consumer to any particular brand:
The model implies an immutable connection between a brand’s advertising and the prospective customer. But consumers, after all, live in a world of multiple brands within particular product/service categories and multiple advertisements for each of the individual brands within the category (Weilbacher 2001, p. 21).
In addition to competitive hierarchical interactions, the hierarchy of advertising effects for any one brand must be in constant competition with all the other brands’ in the category since each brand attempts to move the individual consumer along the brand’s own hierarchy.
As mentioned by Weilbacher (2001) in his article, the crucial conceptual weaknesses of the hierarchy model of advertising effects result in its intuition and non-validation. First, the hierarchy is relevant only to advertising. In some marketing situations, advertising alone may occasionally cause sales for some brands, but in the majority of marketing situations, sales are caused by a combination of marketing factors such as superior product, availability of distribution and competitive price, as well as an effective total program of marketing communications including, but not limited to, advertising. Second, the hierarchy models of advertising effects are based on a suspected model of human thought processes. Advertising is regarded as a distinct stimulus that ultimately leads through a rigid series of stages or steps to the eventual response of a consumer brand selection or purchase. However, ‘it completely ignores the broad store of information and experience that is always available to a consumer prior to and after advertising exposure as he/she thinks about or actively makes brand purchases’ (Weilbacher 2001, p. 22). Finally, the hierarchy models suggest that all advertisements affect consumers in the same ways, since the nature of hierarchy models of advertising effects is that every advertisement works in exactly the same way as every other advertisement.
Weilbacher (2001) concludes that crucial understanding of the effects of marketing communications, including advertising, may be illusive, because the understanding of the brain and how, exactly, it interacts with its environment based on the cognitive science is now not clear. He also suggests a new thinking toward an extension of the hierarchy of effects model to all the communications activities called “integrated marketing communications” should be approached.
At the same time, in his article, Barry (2002) believes that the hierarchy model remains important and valuable, although some of Weilbacher’s concerns are valid and should continue to be debated.
In terms of a single hierarchy model with one chronological sequence, Barry (2002) points out that ‘Weilbacher is right to challenge this sequencing’ (p. 44) but until now there have not been any alternative hierarchies. According to Barry (2002), this model has been rational and regarded as a guideline. Because the lack of explicit validation of the model is not a major problem, the key point ‘lies in the complexities of the measurement process to understand how people process information, form attitudes, and behave as a direct result of that information processed and those attitudes formed’ (p. 45). Thus, the model is still perceptive and rational as a result of its logic.
Unlike Weilbacher’s argument that the hierarchy model is relevant only for advertising and not for other marketing communications components, Barry (2002) argues that one can apply the concept of cognition, affect, and conation to many marketing communication. ‘The goal of all marketing communications is persuasion,… [so] all marketers send information to customers and prospects in the hopes of persuading them to do something’ (p. 44). In most cases, people have to process, value that information in positively or negatively manner, and then behave or not behave in some way. Hence, the hierarchy model is an appropriate framework for any of these forms of marketing communication.
And finally, Barry (2002) observes that there is no evidence that all advertisements have the same effect on all consumers reached, which differs from Weilbacher’s argument. Actually, ‘the concept of segmentation tells [marketers] that audiences are indeed different, even within relatively homogeneous segments’ (p. 45). Every advertising message that reaches an individual consumer affects that consumer differently, based in part on that consumer’s tendencies toward the product category and/or brand. All of these individuals reached have different preferences to process information, ‘form or change attitudes, and behave or not behave as a result’ (p. 45).
In all, points of view of the two authors suggest that there are many implications, as well as calls for action on further research to examine the hierarchy model and develop different hierarchical models for various consumer decision making situations.
Implications for Integrated Marketing CommunicationsEven though there are still arguments among advertising academics and practitioners about the theory of how advertising works, the hierarchy of effects models are clearly practical. There is no doubt that they bring some implications for marketers such as helping to predict behaviour regardless of how imperfect those predictions are, providing ‘practitioners information on where advertising strategies should focus (cognition, affect, or conation) based on audience or segment experiences’, and eventually providing ‘planners with a good planning, training, and conceptual tool’ (Barry & Howard, cited in Barry 2002, p. 46).
In fact, the hierarchy models are an appropriate framework for any of these forms of communication (Barry 2002; Belch & Belch 2004). They are useful to promotional planners from several perspectives. They describe ‘the series of steps potential purchasers must be taken through to move them from unawareness of a product or service to readiness to purchase it’ (Belch & Belch 2004, p. 149). Then, ‘potential buyers may be at different stages in the hierarchy, so the advertisers will face different sets of communication problems’ (p. 150).
Furthermore, the hierarchy models can also be useful as intermediate measures of communication effectiveness (Belch & Belch 2004). The marketer needs to know where audience members are on the response hierarchy. For example, it may suppose that:
… one target segment has low awareness of the advertiser’s brand, whereas another is aware of the brand and its various attributes but has a low level of liking or brand preference. For the first segment of the market, the communication task involves increasing the awareness level for the brand. The number of advertisements may be increased, or a product sampling program may be used. For the second segment, where awareness is already high but liking and preference are low, the advertiser must determine the reason for the negative feelings and then attempt to address this problem in future advertising (Belch & Belch 2004, pp. 149-150).
Nevertheless, some recent reviews of the empirical literature indicate the fragile existence of the hierarchy model and suggest that alternatives should be approached. For example, in their comprehensive review of relevant articles, Vakratsas & Ambler (1999) find little evidence to support the existence of an advertising hierarchy and they note that in trying to understand the response process and the manner in which advertising works, there are three critical intermediate effects between advertising and purchase (see appendix, figure 1). These include cognition- the “thinking” dimension of a person’s response, affect- the “feeling” dimension, and experience- which is a feedback dimension based on the outcomes of product purchasing and usage. Individual responses to advertising ‘are mediated or filtered by factors such as motivation and ability to process information, which can radically alter or change the individual’s response to advertising’ (p. 43). They suggest that the effects of advertising should be evaluated using three dimensions, with some intermediate variables being more important than others, depending on factors such as the product category, stage of the product life-cycle, target audience, competition, and impact of other marketing mix components (Vakratsas & Ambler, cited in Belch & Belch 2004).
Similarly, Hall (2002) argues that ‘advertisers need to move away from explicit and implicit reliance on hierarchical models of advertising effects and develop models that place affect and experience at the center of the advertising process’ (p. 23). The implication of these criticisms is that marketers should focus on cognition, affect, and experience as critical variables that advertising may affect. However, they should not assume a particular sequence of responses; but rather engage in research and analysis to better understand how advertising and other forms of promotion may affect these intermediate variables in various product/market situations.
In terms of the integrated marketing communication program, it is the responsibility of planners to learn as much as possible about their target audience and how it may respond to advertising, along with other forms of marketing communication. As Weilbacher (2001) noted, marketing communications programs include more than just advertising. Consumers are continually immersed in brand-sponsored communications that include public relations, a broad range of sales promotion activities, websites, direct marketing, event sponsorships, movie and television show product placements, and other forms of marketing communication. Hierarchy models must move beyond just explaining the effects of advertising and consider how, and with what effects, consumers synthesize information from all the various integrated marketing communications activities for a brand.
ConclusionFrom the well-known AIDA model to the recent alternative models, the hierarchy models of effects have been conceived as a managerial framework in advertising literature. They have a similar ordering of three stages: cognitive development precedes affective reactions, which precede behavior (Yoo, Kim & Stout 2004). It might be assumed that consumers become aware of and knowledgeable about a brand, develop feelings toward it, form a desire or preference, and then make a purchase. This logical progression is often accurate, the response sequence (cognitive, affective, behavioral), however, does not always operate this way (Belch & Belch 2004). The several alternatives to the original Lavidge and Steiner’s model suggest that advertising researchers have developed different hierarchical models for various consumer decision making situations. Moreover, to better understand the power of advertising, how it works alone, and how it complements other marketing communications tactics are challenges for further research.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Amitabh Bacchan Says

  1. One cannot discover new oceans, unless one has courage to lose sight of the shore
  2. You can win life by all means.. yes… by simply avoiding two things… comparing and … expecting
  3. If people start criticizing you, hurting you, shouting at you.. don’t be bothered. Because in any game, spectators make noise, not the player. So just play on !
  4. Its hard to lead a cavalry charge if one thinks that he looks funny on a horse !
  5. There are only two people who can tell the truth about yourself.. a friend who has lost his temper, or an enemy who starts loving you.

Nice ones AB.................I truly love it..........Main hu unke saath khada jo seethi rakhte apni reedh

HOW THEY CATCH MONKEYS IN INDIA

Monkey-hunters use a box with an opening at the top, big enough for the monkey to slide its hand into. Inside the box are nuts. The monkey grabs the nuts and now its hand becomes a fist. The monkey tries to get its hand out but the opening is big enough for the hand to slide into, but too small for the fist to come out of. Now the monkey has a choice, either to let go off the nuts and be free forever or hang on to nuts and get caught. Guess what it picks every time? You guessed it, right. He hangs on to nuts and gets caught.
We are no different from monkeys. We all hang on to the nuts that keep us from going forward in life. We keep rationalizing by saying, “I cannot do this because……...” “ I would have finished my target, but because of……………” and whatever comes after “because” are nuts that we are hanging onto that are holding us back.
Successful people don’t rationalize. Good advice for failure is: Don’t think, don’t ask, and don’t listen. Just rationalize.

Do you want to become or stay monkey in cage...

An Interesting Story- Everybody should read Never underestimate your Clients' complaints, no matter how funny they might seem!

This is a real story that happened between a customer of General Motors and its Customer-Care Executive. Pls read on.....
A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors.

"This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of having ice-cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies. Every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have, and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem.....

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice-cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds. What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice-cream and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?"

The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an Engineer to check it out anyway. The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well-educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice-cream store. It was vanilla ice-cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start.

The Engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start. Now the Engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice-cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: Time of day, type of gas used, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: The man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor.
Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. Eureka - Time was now the problem - not the vanilla ice-cream!!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: "Vapor Lock".

It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the Vapor Lock to dissipate.
Even crazy-looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.

Don't just say it is " IMPOSSIBLE" without putting a sincere effort...

Observe the word "IMPOSSIBLE" carefully...

Looking closer, you will see, " I'M POSSIBLE"...

Friday, March 27, 2009

Principles of Life

  • Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.
  • You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.
  • When everything else is lost, the future stillremains.
  • Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war.
  • The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.
  • If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.
  • If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.
  • Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.
  • You won't get a second chance to make the first impression.
  • Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.
  • Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.
  • If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.
  • Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything
  • There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.
  • Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
  • All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.
  • Change your thoughts and you change your world.
  • Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.
  • There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise and those who don't take it.
  • The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.
  • Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.
  • Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Some Amazing facts about Gujarat

Here are some amazing facts about the place we live.

This is an extract from an article in a Pakistani newspaper 'The News International' (Part of the Jang Group) a hardcore Islamic Pakistani paper as at 6th September 2008

.........India’s wealthiest man, Mukesh Ambani of Reliance, is Gujarati. Forbes says he is the world's fifth richest man, worth $43 billion. Azim Premji of Wipro is Gujarati. He is the word's 21st richest man, worth $17 billion.

Ten of the 25 richest Indians are Gujarati. Some of the best business communities in India -- Parsis, Jains, Memons, Banias, Khojas and Bohras -- speak Gujarati.

The two great leaders of the subcontinent, the Mahatma (GandhiJi) and the Quaid (Mohd. Ali Jinnah), were both Gujaratis from trading communities. One a Bania, the other a Khoja.

Gujaratis number 55 million, five per cent of India's population living on six per cent of surface area, but hold 30 per cent of all Indian stock. They account for 16 per cent of all Indian exports and 17 per cent of GDP.

On August 8, the National Council of Applied Economic Research published a report.

The richest city in India is now Surat, ahead of Bangalore and Madras, with an average annual household income of Rs0.45 million (over $11,000). 80 per cent of all diamonds sold anywhere in the world are polished in Surat's 10,000 diamond units The only non-Jews in the Tel Aviv and Jerusalem diamond bourse are Gujjus. Between 2004-5 and 2007-8 Surat's middle class doubled in size and its poor reduced by a third.

The fifth richest city in India is now Ahmedabad, ahead of Bombay and Delhi, and miles ahead of Calcutta. The Communists rule Bengal and Kerala. They are splendid at protecting Muslims but rubbish at running the economy. They hold million-man rallies with the Jamiat-ul-Ulema- i-Islam (yes, we have one too) demanding that America get out of Iraq, but cannot stop Tata from being chased out of Bengal. The percentage of man-days lost in Gujarat due to labour unrest is 0.42 per cent, the lowest in India.

Of Gujarat's 18,048 villages, 17,940 have electricity.

Under Modi the face of industrial Gujarat is changing. The world's largest oil refinery is coming up in Jamnagar. Owned by Reliance, it already refines 660,000 barrels of oil a day and will double that this year. Thirty per cent of India's cotton is grown in Gujarat, 40 per cent of India's art-silk is manufactured in Surat, employing 0.7 million people. The world's third largest denim manufacturer is Ahmedabad's Arvind Mills.

A KPMG report says 40 per cent of India's pharmacy industry is based in Gujarat with companies like Torrent, Zydus Cadila, Alembic, Dishman and Sun Pharma.

The state's GDP has been growing at 12 per cent a year for the last 12 years, as fast as China's and is the largest contributor to India’s GDP.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Here I am sitting in my office @ night…,Thi nking hard about life

Here I am sitting in my office @ night…Thinking hard about lifeHow it changed from a college life to strict professionallife…...

How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecksbut then why it gives lesss happiness….

How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe but then why there are less people to use themHow a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burgerBut then why there is less hunger…..

Here i am sitting in my office @ night…Thinking hard about lifeHow it changed…..

How a bike always in reserve changed to bike always onbut then why there are less places to go on……

How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee daybut then why its feels like shop is far away…..

How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid packagebut then why there are less calls & more messages……

Here i am sitting in my office @ night…Thinking hard about lifeHow it changed…...

How a general class journey changed to Flight journey But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment….

How a old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptopbut then why there is less time to put it on……….

How a small bunch of friends changed to office mateBut then why we always feel lonely n miss those college frnz.….

Here i am sitting in my office @ night…Thinking hard about lifeHow it changed….. How it changed……..

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Fundamental Principles of Project Management

Introduction
From time to time, various attempts have been made to enunciate ‘Principles and Practices’ of project management. However, there appears to be no consensus on either the principles or the practices of ‘acceptable’ project management, nor doesthere appear to be much documentation of any ‘theories’ of project management either supporting these principles and practices or derived from them. Thus, the foundation of the project management discipline appears to be somewhat weak.
On the other hand, there is a wealth of literature researching projects to determine what people do in project management, followed by conclusions drawn, as well as a wealth of advice on ‘How to do it better’ (practices). However, since few projects appear to predefine their product success criteria, the results of these projects may be good, bad, or indifferent. Hence, some of the conclusions drawn may be questionable.
What appears to missing is a set of fundamental project management principles as a basis for comparison. This paper is an attempt to address this gap.
Issue: What are the Fundamental Principles of Project Management and how do these differ from Project Management Practices

Definitions
Webster (1) defines a ‘Principle’ as “a general truth, a law on which others are founded or from which others are derived…”
Cleland and Kerzner (2) go further in defining ‘Principle’ as follows:
1. A fundamental rule or law of action based upon desirable ends or objectives. A principle is more basic than a policy or a procedure and generally governs both.
2. A fundamental truth, or what is believed to be truth at a given time, explaining relationships between two or more sets of variables, usually an independent variable and a dependent variable; may be descriptive, explaining what will happen, orprescriptive (or normative), indicating what a person should do.
In the latter case, principles reflect some scale of values, such as efficiency, and therefore imply value judgments.
From the above it would appear that the use of the qualifier ‘Fundamental’ with 'principle’ is redundant. However, since there appears to be much indiscriminate use of the term ‘Principle’ in the marketplace, we will retain its usage to imply that it applies toall examples or aspects of project management and is distinct from the use of the word 'practice’.
Webster defines ‘Practice’, on the other hand, as “customary use, method or art of doing anything…” Cleland and Kerzner do not include this term.In other words, a ‘Practice’ is a way of doing things.
From these definitions it would appear that ‘Principles’ and ‘Practices’ may be distinguished by the difference between 'What’ and ‘How’. It would also appear that in Cleland and Kerzner’s second definition there is some overlap between principles and practices, perhaps reflecting the confusion evident in the marketplace.

Criteria for Establishing a Principle
Possible criteria for differentiating those principles of project management that are truly fundamental may be enunciated as follows:
A Project Management Principle should
1. Express a basic concept or idea.
2. Be universally applicable if a successful project result is to be achieved.
3. Be capable of straight forward expression in one or two sentences.
4. Be self-evident to project management personnel with considerable experienced of practical project work .
5. Be capable of self-evident naming with one or two words.
6. Provide the basis for research, practical testing as to value, and the development of supporting ‘Practices’.
Previous Works
Few authors appear to have addressed the issue of project management principles, although many use the term ‘principles‘ to describe ‘practices’ all as defined above. One exception, however, is an article by Bing (3) in which he describes eight“Principles of Successful Projects” based on his extensive practical experience in the field. This article appears to have received remarkably little attention. In it, Bing presents his eight principles as follows:
1. There must be a project as defined in the PMBOK, and not just a task or an ongoing activity.
2. There must be a single leader (project manager), who is experienced and willing to take the responsibility for the work.
3. There must be an informed and supportive management that delegates appropriate authority to the project manager.
4. There must be a dedicated team of qualified people to do the work of the project.
5. The project goal must be clearly defined along with priorities of the “shareholders.”
6. There must be an integrated plan that outlines the action required in order to reach the goal.
7. There must be a schedule establishing the time goals of the project.
8. There must be a budget of costs and/or resources required for the project.
In the original article, each principle is followed by clarifying text. To this list, Bing subsequently added a ninth principle:
9. There must be a system to accommodate changes.
Proposed ‘Fundamental Principles’
How do Bing’s ‘principles’ measure up to the ‘criteria’ suggested earlier? And, are they all-encompassing?
This author proposes the following consolidation of these 'principles’ together with other ‘fundamentals’ consistent with the criteria and format presented earlier.
1. The Success Principle
The goal of project management is to produce a successful product. Without achieving a successful product there is no merit in incurring the project management overhead cost. Contrary to conventional wisdom, there have been many projects that have been “On time and within budget” but the product has not been successful, and similarly many that have not been “On time and within budget” yet the product has been very successful.
2. The Commitment Principle
A mutually acceptable commitment between a project sponsor and a project team must exist before a viable project exists. A project sponsor is a knowledgeable person representing the eventual owner of the product of the project and who is responsible for providing the necessary resources (money, goods, services, and general direction, as appropriate.) A project team is aknowledgeable and qualified group able and willing to undertake the work of the project. A mutually acceptable commitment is one in which there is agreement on the goals and objectives of the project in terms of the product’s scope, quality grade, time to completion and final cost.
3. The Tetrad-Tradeoff Principle
The core variables of the project management process, namely: product scope, quality grade, time-to-produce and cost-to-complete must all be mutually consistent. The core variables of scope, quality, time and cost are interrelated somewhat similar toa four-cornered frame with flexible joints. One corner can be anchored and another moved, but not without affecting the other two.
4. The Primary Communication Channel (or Unity-of-Command) Principle
A single channel of communication must exist between the project sponsor and the project team leader for all decisions affecting the product of the project. This principle is necessary for the effective and efficient administration of the project commitment. The owner of the eventual product, if represented by more than one person, must nevertheless speak with one voice. Similarly, at any given time, the project’s team must have a single point of responsibility, a project manager, for the work of the project. Such person must have the skills, experience, dedication, commitment, authority and tenacity to lead the project to success.
5. The Cultural Environment (or Suitability) Principle
An informed management must provide a supportive cultural environment to enable the project team to produce its best work.An informed management is one which understands the project management process. A supportive cultural environment is one in which the project is clearly backed by management, and project team members are enabled to produce their best work without unnecessary bureaucratic hindrance. This principle includes the need for management to ensure that the leadership profile and management style are suited to both the type of project and its phase in the project life-cycle.
6. The Process Principle
Effective and efficient policies and procedures must be in place for the conduct of the project commitment. Such policies and procedures must cover, at a minimum, clear roles and responsibilities, delegation of authority, and processes for managing the scope of work, including changes, maintenance of quality, and schedule and cost control.
7. The Life-Cycle Principle
Plan first, then do. A successful project management process relies on two activities – planning first, and then doing. These two sequential activities form the basis of every project life-cycle, and can be expanded to suit the control requirements of every type of project in every area of project management application. The project life-cycle, characterized by a series of ‘milestones’ determines when the project starts, the ‘control gates’ through which it must pass, and when the project is finished

15 Management Principles

1. If we want above average results, we must first become an above average person.

2. Management of people is a sales process.

3. We don't discover our greatest potential. We DECIDE on it.

4. Delegate the end result, not the method of achieving it.

5. Catch people doing something right, or nearly right.

6. People who feel good about themselves produce good results.

7. Regard everyone as a potential winner.

8. Success by the inch is a cinch, by the yard it is hard.

9. Keep the leaders leading.

10. Success is often dependent, not on doing amazing brilliant things, but on doing the commonplace unusually well.

11. Recognise the attitude demotivators.

12. Avoid making threats.

13. Work with the new people.

14. Be FOR things not against them.

15. LAUGH. Diffuse confrontations with humour, laughter.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Recession

These days the whole world is crying a loud that there is recession all around at times I begin to wonder whom should we consider responsible for this........